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BlueXJ · 05-02-2009, 03:19 PM

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

BlueXJ · 05-02-2009, 03:29 PM

The latest scam in the area which is happening at the Shopping Centers.
(Though this could spread elsewhere ???)
Two good looking 18 year old women come to your car as you are parking.
One starts wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, the other comes to your window saying 'hi' while bending over with her breasts almost coming out of her blouse, impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say no and beg you for a ride to the city. You agree and tell them to sit in the back.
On the way they start having sex in the back seat.
Then one of them jumps to the front seat and starts to perform oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet !!

I was robbed last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, but I couldn't find them Saturday or Sunday.

Be careful.

BlueXJ · 05-02-2009, 03:31 PM

Two bowling teams, one all blondes and one all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City .

The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team on the top level.
The brunette team down below is whooping it up and having a great time.

One of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes
upstairs, so she decides to investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight
ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in front of them.

What's going on up here?" asks the brunette, "We're having a great
time downstairs!"

Yeah," screams a terrified blonde, "But you've got a driver!"

BlueXJ · 05-02-2009, 03:41 PM

Two bowling teams, one all blondes and one all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City .

The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team on the top level.
The brunette team down below is whooping it up and having a great time.

One of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes
upstairs, so she decides to investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight
ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in front of them.

What's going on up here?" asks the brunette, "We're having a great
time downstairs!"

Yeah," screams a terrified blonde, "But you've got a driver!"

4.3L XJ · 05-02-2009, 03:57 PM

Three blonds went fishing with their boyfriends. They pulled up to the lake and dropped off the girls and went to the other side. The girls start fishing. Later, a game warden drops by and asks the girls for a fishing license. One blond says, "Sir, we don't need a fishing license." The second blond says, "That's right, we are not fishing. The game warden says, "sure you are, you have rods reels and lines in the water." The third blond says, "See, let me show you." And she reels in her line and there is nothing on the end but a magnet. The game warden scratches his head and says "Well I guess your right. You can't catch anything with that." Then he drives off.

Then the first blond says, "What an idiot. Doesn't he know we are fishing for Steelhead?"

4.3L XJ · 05-02-2009, 08:36 PM

Bob & The Blonde

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, and so I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money...

4.3L XJ · 05-02-2009, 09:42 PM

It was once said that a black man would be president "when pigs fly." 100 days into Obama's presidency .... Swine Flu

BlueXJ · 05-02-2009, 11:50 PM

4.3L XJ · 05-03-2009, 11:23 AM

You must have voted for him

finneys98xj · 05-03-2009, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4.3L XJ

It was once said that a black man would be president "when pigs fly." 100 days into Obama's presidency .... Swine Flu

BlueXJ · 05-03-2009, 05:04 PM

“Today marks 100 days of President Obama being in office, which is a big deal because 100 days is when his warranty runs out. We couldn’t return him now even if we wanted to.”