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Discussion Starter #1
> > A Russian arrives in New York City,a new immigrant to the United
> States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and
> says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving
> me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"
> >
> >
> > The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."
> >
> >
> > The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for
> having such a beautiful country here in America."
> >
> >
> > The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
> >
> >
> > The new arrival walks farther, and
> > the next person he sees, he stops,
> > shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America!"
> >
> >
> > That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. I am
> not American."
> >
> >
> > He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"
> >
> >
> > She says, "No, I am from Africa."
> >
> >
> > Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
> >
> >
> > The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Wal-Mart door greeter
Do you know what it takes to be a Wal-Mart door greeter?

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with
her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the
entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to
Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they ain't
twins. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would
you think they're twins?
Are you blind, or just stupid?'

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter. 'I just
couldn't believe someone would sleep with you twice.. Have a good day
and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
 

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My sister told me this one.

As Mary was nursing her baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast- feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what Mary was doing.

After mulling over her answers, she remarked, "My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them."
 
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