Sounds like you have tried all the possibilities. A transmission shop I spoke with said it was time to rebuild. Seals and o rings when old causes all sort of issues but a lazy shift is a good clue. I will keep running mine until I do the LS conversion. I only drive the XJ maybe 2000 miles a year.
My 2000 XJ is mostly used as a toad behind our Motorhome. I’m really buried in this. New radiator and hoses, all hoses new, New heater core,
air conditioning evaporator, both drivelines rebuilt and balanced, front axles rebuilt, new front wheel bearings, brake rotors and calipers, n hoses, complete rear brakes replaced including brake drums, brake cylinders shoes and hardware parts and hoses, engine oil leaks repaired, including front and rear main seals, installed new heavier duty alternator, front suspension, upper and lower control arms replaced with a Ruff Country kit. Including drag link and heavy duty sway bar.
Auxiliary electric fan timed switch. Engine intake manifold and injector insulation kit installed. New fuel injectors. New power steering pump. Now I have a squeaky idler, haven’t had time to replace it yet.
New right and left electric windows control panels, New rear hatch struts and lock.
New rear bumper with spare tire swing gate.
New Road-master tow bar assembly. Wired tail lights system through the jeep.
WOW! I’m really buried in this thing…
Please!! Don’t tell my wife…
I know I’ve missed something!
now if I can get the lazy shift deal fixed I’ll be happy
Mike Root
Tulalip Washington
35 Miles Northwest of
Seattle